Tuesday, February 28, 2017


15W BATHTUB GIN. Four halflings are operating a home distillery in this spacious bathroom.

4 Halfling Thieves (AC 10; MV 9”; T1; hp 3, 3, 5; #AT 1; D Short sword; SA +3 with bow or sling; XP 34, 34, 38)

Thief skills: PP 35%, OL 30% F/RT 25% MS 25% HS 25% HN 15% CW 70% RL –

Each halfling has 3-18 (3d6) silver spanners.

This room is equipped as one would expect for a luxury bath room. The distillery is in the tub. All the ingredients necessary, including grain alcohol, and juniper berries are here. Four buckets of the finished product are here.

Monday, February 27, 2017


15V MR HEEL'S ROOM. The infamous Mr Heel and his select cronies are enjoying a banquet here.

Mr Heel, Lawful Evil male halfling Thief (AC 8; MV 9”; T5; hp 18; #AT 1; D Short sword; S 13, I 17, W 12, D 16, C 15, Ch 16; XP 333)

Thief skills: PP 55%, OL 52% F/RT 45% MS 50% HS 46% HN 25% CW 75% RL 20%

Mr Heel wears 4 gold rings (200 gold crescent value each) and has a purse with 58 gold crescents, 43 silver spanners, and 13 copper pieces. He affects a monocle and likes to be regarded as a gentleman, but he is really a vicious criminal with a liking for murder. The other halflings (except Screwjob) are scared of him.

Mr Welt, Lawful Evil male halfling Fighter (AC 8; MV 9”; F3; hp 18; #AT 1; D Short sword +1 to damage due to strength; S 16, I 8, W 6, D 12, C 14, Ch 4; XP 132)

Mr Welt is a tall, bald, and ugly halfling. He is Mr Heel's primary enforcer and enjoys hurting others for any excuse. He wears leather armor and carries 14 gold crescents and 41 copper pieces in a pouch.

Mr Mustache, Lawful Evil male halfling Fighter (AC 8; MV 9”; F2; hp 12; #AT 1; D Short sword; S 11, I 13, W 15, D 12, C 15, Ch 13; XP 71)

Mr Mustache is unusually short and fat, even for a halfling. He has a beautiful handlebar moustache and is Mr Heel's closest thing to a friend. He wears leather armor and has 25 gold crescents, 13 silver spanners, and 23 copper pieces.

They are being served by three halfling thieves acting as waiters.

3 Halfling Thieves (AC 10; MV 9”; T1; hp 1, 6, 4; #AT 1; D Short sword; SA +3 with bow or sling; XP 30, 40, 36)

Thief skills: PP 35%, OL 30% F/RT 25% MS 25% HS 25% HN 15% CW 70% RL –

Each halfling has 3-18 (3d6) silver spanners.

Mr Heel will prefer to talk rather than fight, especially if the party seems strong. If he can come to an understanding with outsiders he will try to get them to eliminate his main competition, a halfling named Screwjob who lives on the Upper Floor of the Magic Shoe House. The halflings on the Ground Floor are loyal to him, at least nominally, and he count on their obedience. Screwjob used to be his chief lieutenant, but he was always restless and wild and he recently broke away, taking with him some of the braver halflings who were willing to risk fighting in return for more food.. Now there is a sort of cold war between the two rivals, with occasional killings when territory is invaded.

When Huvvard gives out food to the halflings, Mr Heel takes it all from the others on the Ground Floor. Mr Heel, Mr Welt, and Mr Moustache are seated at the table. All sorts of cakes, meat dishes, fruits, and desserts are piled on the table. Huvvard usually only gives milk or juice to the halflings, but Mr Heel has set up a still in Room 15W and the halflings here are enjoying homemade liquor.

Behind a curtain, there is Mr Heel's bed. Other furniture includes chairs, tables, and a large wardrobe holding Mr Heel's clothing. A hidden compartment is in the back of the wardrobe (treat as a secret door). Within are five citrines (100 gold crescents each), a silver and ivory tie clasp (130 gold crescents), and a bag of 200 gold crescents.

Sunday, February 26, 2017


15U STUDY. Twenty golden furred monkeys are here, writing poetry using feather pens on paper.

20 Monkeys (AC 8; MV 12”; HD 1-4 hit points; hp 2 each; #AT 1 bite; D 1-2; XP 7 each)

Treat these monkeys as having low intelligence, so their poetry is not very good. Each time a monkey completes a poem, a banana miraculously appears in front of it. This magic effect only occurs in this room.

There are stacks of used and unused paper, ink pots, and pens. Characters may write poems if they wish, but no bananas will appear unless they are a monkey.

Saturday, February 25, 2017


15T BILLIARDS ROOM. A pitched battle is occurring. Seven halflings are to the east of the billiard table and six cobbling elves are inside the magic painting on the west wall.

7 Halfling Thieves (AC 10 (6); MV 9”; T1; hp 1, 6, 5, 4, 3, 3, 4; #AT 1; D Short sword or thrown billiard ball; SA +3 with bow or sling; XP 30, 40, 38, 36, 34, 34, 36)

Thief skills: PP 35%, OL 30% F/RT 25% MS 25% HS 25% HN 15% CW 70% RL –

Each halfling has 3-18 (3d6) silver spanners.

6 Cobbling Elves (AC 10 (6); MV 12”; HD 1+1; hp 6, 5, 3, 3, 8, 6; #AT 1; D Hammer; SA +1 to hit with hammer or thrown heavy boot; SD 90% resistant to sleep and charm; XP 40, 38, 34, 34, 44, 40)

For the purposes of the combat, the elves are susceptible to missile weapons and spells that strike at a distance. Melee weapons do damage to the painting (and will destroy it).

Any person hit by a boot or a billiard ball gets a save vs petrification. If they make the save they take no damage. If they fail they take 1 point of damage. Since they are behind a billiard table and in a magic painting, both the halflings and elves should be treated as in 50% cover from each other (effective AC 6 for each group).

The party may choose to help one side or the other or do nothing. The whole thing started when a halfling read out loud the caption beneath the painting "Elfis Libris Majorcum". The halfing insulted the elves shoe making skills and a combat began.

If the elves chase off the halflings and have no other business to attend to, they will return to being a painting. They cannot leave the painting, but each character who helps fight the halflings will be given a pair of magic shoes:

Type of Shoes
Cleric, Druid, Bard, or Multi class
Shoes of Protection +1
Thief, Assassin, or Monk
Sandals of Skulking
Fighter, Paladin, or Ranger
Boots of Ass Kicking
Magic-user or illusionist
Loafers of Legerdemain

Shoes of Protection: Treat as a standard ring of protection.

Sandals of Skulking: +20% to move silently and + 15% to hide in shadows

Boots of Ass Kicking: +1 damage to all attacks.

Loafers of Legerdemain: Memorize one extra spell each day among all of those that you know (yes, it may be a high level spell).

Friday, February 24, 2017


15S PARLOR. This small room holds a a large moose head on the east wall. There are several comfortable chairs and couches, all turned towards the moose head.

The moose is actually a living talking blink moose that will begin speaking when the party enters.

Seward the Blink Moose (AC 7; MV 18"; HD 6; hp 26; #AT 1 (2); D 2-12 (2-12); SA Attack from rear 75% of time, can gore two opponents if they are directly in front; SD Teleporting; XP 431)

If attacked Seward can blink himself out of the wall. Treat him as a blink dog for attack purposes. He can gore two opponents that are directly in front of him, like an Irish deer.

Treat Seward as having a neutral alignment. He sticks around because Huvvard likes to feed him carrots and sugar cubes, but she hasn't been around lately and he is hungry. He is curious but also lazy. The halflings are afraid of him.

The secret door leads to the small room that holds Seward's body.

Thursday, February 23, 2017

Wednesday, February 22, 2017


15Q DRAWING ROOM. Six halflings are writing graffiti on the wallpaper using blackened sticks from the fireplace.

6 Halfling Thieves (AC 10; MV 9”; T1; hp 3, 3, 4, 3, 5, 2; #AT 1; D Short sword or sharpened stick (as club); SA +3 with bow or sling; XP 34, 34, 36, 34, 38, 32)

Thief skills: PP 35%, OL 30% F/RT 25% MS 25% HS 25% HN 15% CW 70% RL –

Each halfling has 3-18 (3d6) silver spanners.

The room is furnished with numerous comfortable chairs and small tables. Inside a grand piano the halflings have stashed some food: six dozen eggs, four large strips of bacon, and a bottle labeled "gold water" which contains a colorless liquid that smells of bleach and tastes of oranges. It is actually a potion of treasure finding.

Tuesday, February 21, 2017


15P DINING HALL. Thirteen halfling hoodlums have captured a broccoli man and have him tied to the dining table. They have sharpened their short swords and are going to cut him up.

13 Halfling Thieves (AC 10; MV 9”; T1; hp 2, 2, 3, 1, 2, 5, 6, 6, 1, 4, 1, 4, 5; #AT 1; D Short sword or sling; SA +3 with bow or sling; XP 32, 32, 34, 30, 32, 38, 40, 40, 30, 36, 30, 36, 38)

Thief skills: PP 35%, OL 30% F/RT 25% MS 25% HS 25% HN 15% CW 70% RL –

Each halfling has 3-18 (3d6) silver spanners and a sling with 7-12 (1d6+6 sling bullets). They are very hungry and hell-bent on eating the broccoli man. They will not fight if the adventurers give them no trouble but they are callous, insulting, and generally horrid.

Floret the Broccoli Man (AC 10; MV 12”; HD 1; hp 3; #AT 1; D By weapon type; XP 13)

Floret will fight if rescued. If Floret's curse is broken, she is actually a first level neutral good fighter.

There is seating at the dinner table for up to thirty. The chairs are human sized but equipped with wooden child seats to accomodate halflings. Numerous small round windows are on the north wall.

Monday, February 20, 2017

Magic Shoe House Ground Floor Map

I've been working on the ground floor map of the magic shoe house.  The upper floors aren't done and I will make a combined map, but for now here is the ground floor to keep you all oriented.


15O MS VAMP'S BEDROOM. This is the room of a buxom halfling femme fatale.

Ms Vamp, Neutral female halfling Thief (AC 8; MV 9”; T3; hp 11; #AT 1; D Dagger; S 9, I 13, W 8, D 16, C 14, Ch 18 to male halflings, 14 to everyone else; SA Charm male halflings; XP 129)

Thief skills: PP 45%, OL 43% F/RT 35% MS 37% HS 35% HN 20% CW 72% RL -

Ms Vamp wears a pink dress and a pink feathered boa. This is an actual living snake with pink feathers growing off its skin. Play her as a Mae West type. She is a so attractive to male halflings that it counts as a charm person spell on all who see her. This is a non-magical effect.

Pink Feathered Boa (AC 5; MV 9”; HD 6+1; hp 31; #AT 1 bite and 1 constrict; D 1-4/ 2-8; SA Constriction; Size S; XP 473)

Of all the halflings, Ms Vamp is the only one who holds any affection for Huvvard. She is conflicted because she is tired of the other halflings exploiting the old woman, but she has also goten used to her current easy lifestyle and doesn't want to go back to being an adventurer. As an added complication she has become afraid of the ruthless Mr Heel and the unpredictably violent Screwjob.

The room is furnished as a bed room, such as one would make for a little girl, which is how Huvvard thinks of Ms Vamp. A jewelry box holds silver jewelry: six rings (25, 30, 30, 45, 60, and 90 gold crescent value), four necklaces (40, 50, 80, and 140 gold crescent value), an anklet (30 gold crescent value), and three pairs of ear rings (20, 20, and 45 gold crescent value). The closet holds halfling sized clothing, mostly dresses but also a suit of leather armor.

Sunday, February 19, 2017


15N HUNGRY HUNGRY HALFLINGS. Three pitiable halflings are boiling an old boot in a pot on a woodburning stove.

3 Halfling Thieves (AC 10; MV 9”; T1; hp 2, 4, 5; #AT 1; D Short sword; SA +3 with bow or sling; XP 32, 36, 38)

Thief skills: PP 35%, OL 30% F/RT 25% MS 25% HS 25% HN 15% CW 70% RL –

They are desperate and their pick pocket skills should be treated as 90% if they are trying to steal food.

A plate full of well-gnawed giant rat bones is in one corner, a testament to the state of these grubby haflings.

Saturday, February 18, 2017


15M MUSEUM OF FOOTWEAR. Dozens of garish paintings decorate this room. A halfling is peeing on the base of a statue.

Halfling Thief (AC 10; MV 9”; T1; hp 4; #AT 1; D Short sword; SA +3 with bow or sling; XP 36)

Thief skills: PP 35%, OL 30% F/RT 25% MS 25% HS 25% HN 15% CW 70% RL –

His first response will likely be to shriek and flee in the opposite direction that the characters entered.

The statue is a life size stone statue of a cobbling elf on a three foot tall pedestal. The elf is holding a shoe proudly above its head with one hand.

The paintings cover subjects relating to the history of shoes, such as the presentation of the first sandal from a cobbling elf to a caveman and the invention of he wingtip.

Friday, February 17, 2017


15L CONCEALED STORE ROOM. The door leading to this room is rather small (3½ feet high by 2 feet wide) and concealed behind the tapestry in Room 15K. Within a five wooden barrels and three boxes.

Barrel Label
Salted Fish
Salted fish
Potion of lnvulnerability, 7 doses worth (tastes and looks like brandy)
Pickled Eggs
Pickled eggs
Pickled Beets
Pickled beets
Gray Pudding
Gray Ooze (AC 8; MV 1”; HD 3+3; hp 10; #AT 1; D 2-16; SA Corrosive properties; SD Immune to spells, heat, cold; XP 240)

Box Label
Frozen Potatoes
Wet, rotten potatoes
Golden Delight
Fig and Apricot sweets (50 gold crescent value)
Assorted nuts

Thursday, February 16, 2017


15K ABANDONED WORKROOM. Tables, chairs, and workbenches sized for cobbling elves are here. The walls are decorated with tapestries.

On the tables and workbenches are all the things needed for making shoes: leather, tacks, hammers, cords, wooden models of feet, etc.

There are a total of six tapestries (each 400 gp weight and 200 gold crescent value). All but one are decorated with pictures of shoes, boots, and sandals. This last one is decorated with pictures of fruits, nuts, and meats. The concealed door leading to Room 15L is behind this one.

Wednesday, February 15, 2017


15J PICTURE ROOM. Dozens of paintings are arranged about the walls. All are pictures of food items (fruits, cuts of meat, bowls of nuts, pastries and cakes, etc.).

One large painting is against the west wall. This painting depicts an old man in a chef's uniform behind a table laden with food. On the bottom frame are written the words "Locci et Manjuca".

If the formula is recited, the man in the painting will become animated and converse with the party. He will let each person take food from the painting if they answer a question truthfully. Some example questions are "what is your name?", 'what is your favorite food?", "have you ever killed a man?", etc. Dungeon Masters can make this as difficult or as easy as they like based on the party. If a person lies, the old man will know and not let them have any food. If a person answer the question truthfully, the old man will allow him or her to take one food item. If a person touches their hand to the painting, their hand will enter the painting and they can grab the food. Attempts to attack the man will damage the painting instead.

The effects of the food items are as follows:

Pork Chops: Gain 1 point of strength permanently (or +25% to 18 exceptional strength)

Baked Potato: Can breath fire as a hell hound (1 point of damage per experience level) permanently. Usable up to three times per day.

Fish: Can now breathe water as well as air permanently.

Corn on the Cob: Heals any disease, curse, deleterious spell effect (such as charm), and/or damage. If the character is not wounded or afflicted then nothing happens.

Glass of Wine: Even a drop of this wine will make the imbiber greatly intoxicated, as per the Dungeon Master Guide pages 82 and 83.

Chocolate Cake: Non-magical.

When every person who wishes to take part does so, or if all the food is gone, the old man will walk away (in the painting) to go do some more cooking. If the room is re-entered later by the same party, the old man will not be in the painting.

Attacks against the painting will destroy it and its magic forever. If the painting is removed from the room, its magic will no longer work and it will remain only a painting until it is returned and re-hung here.

Tuesday, February 14, 2017


15I WATER CLOSET. A sign hangs on the toilet, labeled "Out of Order". There is a sink and a medicine cabinet.

If the toilet is flushed (there is a pull string coming from the ceiling) it will spurt out boiling water doing 1d4 damage to anyone in front of it. One of the halflings has been screwing with the water temperature control switches behind it and shoving things down the pipes and caused a problem. Huvvard hasn't gotten around to fixing it yet.

A jar of Keoghtom’s ointment is in the medicine cabinet.

Monday, February 13, 2017


15H PANTRY. A hug red hound dog with white spots, about the size of a pony, sits in the middle of this room. The walls are lined by cupboards.

Socko the Dog (AC 4; MV 12”; HD 7; hp 40; #AT 1 bite; D 1-10; SA Breathe fire (7 points of damage), surprise on 1-4; SD Only surprised on a 1, see invisible (50%); XP 845)

Treat Socko as a hell hound of the largest size, except he is neutral in alignment. He is waiting for Mother Huvvard to give him a bone. He will not attack unless he is attacked first and is likely to whine and put his nose towards one of the cupboards.

All the cupboards are empty except for the one Socko is indicating. On the top shelf of this cupboard is a meaty bone and a small box of tea cakes.

Sunday, February 12, 2017


15G SHOE CLOSET. This closet is full of thousands of shoes, including many metal stilleto heels and athletic shoes with long sharp cleats. If the door is opened they will fall, causing 1d6 damage to the door opener unless a save is made vs petrification at -2, indicating that the opener dodged out of the way in time.

Saturday, February 11, 2017


15F ECHOING HALLWAY. The floor, walls, and ceiling of this corridor are made of a smooth pure white substance that emits bright light. The ceiling is forty feet high, a situation only made possible by the space-bending physics of the Shoe House. Every sound is amplified in the hall, producing a loud echo. A toy ladder (about two feet wide by three feet high) is lying on the floor. If the ladder is placed against the wall, it will telescope itself up to the ceiling.

If a person climbs to the ceiling they will find a small trapdoor in the ceiling next to wherever the ladder was placed. This is a small attic holding a drowsy three eyed talking donkey named Maalab. In return for food (such as a cake from Room 15H) or a drink of alcohol it will give his finder a kiss on the forehead, opening up his or her third eye..

Malaab (AC 10; HD 6; hp 36; #AT 1 bray; D 1-6 sonic boom; XP 366)

When the third eye is opened, it is a form of mental awakening but also a physical change as a third eye will really appear on the forehead of the person.
  • This eye can manifest once per day an it will do so for the duration of one combat or one turn, whichever is greater.
  • In combat, the user of the third eye may gaze for one round at an opponent as they probe for weaknesses. Following that one round of concentration, they are now at +6 to hit and +2 to damage for the remainder of that combat.
  • Out of combat, the eye may also be used to identify magic items. It does so with no chance of failure and can do so for as many items at it can gaze at in one turn (quite a few as it turns out).

If the ladder is removed from the room it loses its ability to telescope until returned. If this room is visited again Maalab will be absent.

Friday, February 10, 2017


15E CLOCK ROOM. This room holds dozens of clocks, hourglasses, and egg timers, arranged tastefully on walls and on tables. One huge cuckoo clock is on the west wall.

Huvvard installed the giant cuckoo clock as a guardian when one of her clocks was stolen. If any of the clocks are taken, a huge mechanical bird will emerge from the cuckoo clock to challenge burglars.

Giant Mechanical Cuckoo (AC 7; MV 3”/48”; HD 4; hp 21; #AT 2 talons and 1 beak; D 1-6/1-6/2-12; SD Limited spell immunity; XP 234)

The giant cuckoo is immune to spells which affect the mind, such as sleep, hold, and charm.

In total there are 37 time measurement devices, each is worth between 5 and 30 gold crescents (5d6). If the giant cuckoo clock is searched a gold egg worth 200 gold crescents will be found.

Thursday, February 9, 2017


15D KITCHEN. This large room is tastefully furnished as a kitchen, with all of the usual things that one would expect to find here. There is a large fireplace and several small windows on the north wall. A staircase goes up to Room 15DD.

Wednesday, February 8, 2017


15C GREAT ROOM. Five halflings are here, each has a giant rat on a leash.

5 Halfling Thieves (AC 10; MV 9”; T1; hp 4, 4, 1, 4, 5; #AT 1; D Short sword; SA +3 with bow or sling; XP 36, 36, 30, 36, 38)

Thief skills: PP 35%, OL 30% F/RT 25% MS 25% HS 25% HN 15% CW 70% RL –

5 Giant Rats (AC 7; MV 12"//6"; HD 1-4 hit points; hp 2, 4, 2, 1, 1; #AT 1 bite; D 1-3; SA Disease; XP 9, 11, 9, 8, 8)

Each halfling has 3-18 (3d6) silver spanners. They wear no armor. Like the other halflings in the Shoe House, these are nasty customers. A favorite tactic for them is to act surprised and drop the leashes to the rats, which will then attack. This strategy gives them plausible deniability in case the rats are easily defeated. They will avoid direct confrontation unless the party seem to be very easy marks.

The room is comfortably furnished with many couches and chairs. A wet bar is near the west wall. A large number of empty bottles are here, having been despoiled by the halflings. Within a secret compartment under the bar (treat as a secret door), there is a stash of 10 bottles of fine wine (20 gold crescents each) and 5 bottles of top of the line distilled beverages (rum, schnapps, whisky, brandy, and absinthe, 15 gold crescents each).

There are many small round windows in the south wall. If anyone looks out of the windows, things outside appear to be much smaller than they really are, due to the strange distorting effect of the magic house.

Tuesday, February 7, 2017


15B  GROANING HALLWAY.  This long hallway is comfortably furnished with rugs, mirrors, lighted candles on the walls, and long tables holding bowls of nuts and fruit.  A lighted chandelier in the shape of a head is here.  A magic mouth sings “Welcome”

The rug is marked by muddy halfling sized footprints.  As the hall is traversed, the floorboards creak and groan noticeably.

Monday, February 6, 2017


15A FOYER.  This room is amply supplied with hat racks, boot scrapes, and umbrella stands.  Two portrait paintings are here, one on the east wall and one on the west.

There are many umbrellas and bowler hats, but only one pair of high-laced ladies’ boots.  The east portrait is of Huvvard Triskelion.  She is a tall elderly woman with white hair and black-rimmed glasses with thick lenses.  The west portrait is of a Socko, a red and white spotted hound dog.  Both portraits are labeled with the subject’s name and both are signed by Patrizio Triskelion.

The locked door at the north end of the room has a tremendous brass knocker in the shape of a grotesque face.  If anyone tries to open the door, the knocker will animate and ask them to state their business.  This is mostly a formality, as it will unlock the door and let just about anyone in unless they attack it or they declare a criminal objective.  If it is attacked or if there is an attempt to forcefully bypass the door it will defend the house, screaming “help, help!” loudly.

The Knocker (AC 6; MV 0”; HD 5; hp 24; #AT 1 eye beam; D 1-8; XP 210)

If the knocker does scream for help, there is a 50% chance that Socko (see Room 15H) will respond in 1d4 rounds to help rebuff intruders.  The knocker will have to open the door to let Socko through.